Saying "no" so you can say your "best yes"

You will receive a lot of advice.
You will receive a lot of information.
You will have many great ideas and dreams.
People who love you will tell you what you should do and how you should do it.

And you must determine your "best yes" if you will do your best work. 

In finding your best yes, you will turn away some good advice, you will take some paths others won't understand, you will pick some dreams over others at a given point. 

Read More
Kori CarewComment
Aunt Jemima, Jezebel, and the Pine-Sol Lady: Mothering Against the Perceived Grownness of Black Girls

When my oldest daughter was a mere 18 months old, I shared some pictures from our family vacation. Someone commented that she looked like she had an “attitude.” She was 18 months old. She was having fun in the sprinklers and was posing.

It never occurred to me that if I as a Black woman (symbolically) was portrayed as the maid and revealed a hidden figure, hyper-sexualized, portrayed as the sassy Black woman that my Black daughter would be exempt.

Read More
How We Decide Who Belongs

"They are hiring Black support staff for Kori because her client says diversity is important." This claim made in clusters of groups led to several conversations in an organization I once worked at. When I started working at the organization, I was one of only two Black people. Over time, and with new administrative leadership, a Black female administrative staff person was hired. And then a second one was being interviewed to support me and my team. I came to learn there was scuttlebutt and this statement was made. Apparently, the hiring of new employees who were diverse (specifically Black) was of concern to some.

Read More
The Robin at My Window: Getting Unstuck

It is back. This morning it repeated what should have been a habit it stopped but still hasn't. My five year old complained that it was waking us up. It is 8:32 in the evening and it continues. Or maybe it is just that it is back, flying straight into the window glass over and over and over. The robin has done this many mornings. The fake owl hasn't deterred it. The paper taped to the window so that it can stop seeing its reflection and think another bird is there hasn't deterred it. Perhaps robins aren't very smart but it surely is determined. It’s defensive mechanism up, the robin is determined to chase the other bird away. Except there is no other bird.

Read More
The Other Black Person

It was a lovely event — lots of ladies and a lot of tea. We were all giddy about the baby on the way. Somehow or the other we got on to a topic and the story involved Bruce. “Who is Bruce?" I asked. Person after person kept describing him. The descriptions kept coming and I didn’t get a picture. I just couldn’t figure out who they were talking about. I sensed something in the air but wasn’t sure what it was. Although I was hosting this baby shower, I didn’t know most of the ladies well. It was then that the guest of honor, who was sitting next to me by the fireplace said, “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Bruce is the tall, Black guy on the worship team.” I started laughing.

Read More
Black Women at Work: Magic But Real

We are not our hair. We are not our clothes. We will not be hidden anymore. And we are not children. Talk to black women about the times they have been marginalized, ignored, undervalued, tone policed, or disrespected in the work place because they were black women and you will hear common patterns. This week #BlackWomenatWork exploded on Twitter. Brittany Packnett invited black women to share their stories and highlight the everyday racism black women face at work — and black women spoke out. The stories show commonality of being undervalued, ignored, disrespected, being overlooked, not receiving credit for their contributions and outright racism.

Read More